well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
