One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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