Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
