So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
we're so committed to being not committed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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