just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
