would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
