Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
