I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
