I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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