and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
