I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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