If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize