the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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