A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
