How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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