okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize