Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
