I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
