Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
