Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize