i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
