take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
