Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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