I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want her autograph on my taint
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
