So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
