Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We just shotgunned beers for America
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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