ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
