at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
