Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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