is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
