Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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