im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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