Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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