No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
