I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
