that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
