i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
