drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
