Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
