She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
