I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
