The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
