He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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