the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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