Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
