I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
