hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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