Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
