I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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