yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
