Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize