One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
