you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
