I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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