brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
