Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
