she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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