There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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