you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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