I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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