naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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