Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
