I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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